10 Ways to Have a Better Conversation (My reflection on a TED talk)
By: Sierra Wright
I recently listened to a TED talk that I was required to do for school and with all of the ones I had listened to, I found that this one hit home for me. So I felt it was appropriate to share with you all that I got out of it.
There is no reason to learn how to show you’re paying attention if you are, in fact, paying attention.
- Don’t Multi-Task – Be in that moment, don’t be half in it and don’t don’t be half out.
- Don’t Pontificate – If you wanted to state your opinion without any opportunity for response or argument or pushback or growth, write a blog (no pun intended).
- Use Open Ended Questions – Take a cue from journalists, start your questions with who, what, when, why or how. If you put in a complicated question, you’re going to get a simple answer out.
- Go with the Flow (the one I found to be most noteworthy) – That means thoughts will go into your mind and you need to let them go out of your mind. If I had learned this much earlier I would have saved myself quite a bit of stress and grief.
- If you Don’t Know, Say that You Don’t Know – It’s okay to not know everything, I promise.
- Don’t Equate Your Experience with Theirs – If they’re talking about losing a family member, don’t start talking about the time you lost a family member. It is not the same, it is not about you, all experiences are individual.
- Try Not to Repeat Yourself – it’s condescending and it’s really boring.
- Stay Out of the Weeds – What does this mean? Frankly people don’t care about the years, the dates, the names, all the details that you’re struggling to come up with in your head. People don’t care about the details, they care about you and who you are.
- Listen – Why do we not listen to each other? We’d rather talk. When I’m talking I’m in control, I don’t have to hear anything I’m not interested in, I’m the center of attention, I can bolster my own identity. There’s another reason, we get distracted. It takes effort and energy to actually listen to someone but if you can’t do that you’re not in a conversation. “Most of us don’t listen with intent to understand, we listen with the intent to reply.”
- Be Brief – Be interested in other people. Keep your mind open. Be prepared to be amazed. Talk to people, listen to people.
Communication is so important in all aspects of our lives and finding/learning ways to become better at it can help improve our relationships and lives overall. Whether it’s being a better listener, engaging yourself in the conversation, find interest in your conversations and be in the moment. Engaging in conversation isn’t always easy but it can be if we truly dial in to who is talking and what is being talked about. Being an effective conversationalist and communicator leads to new, healthy and lasting relationships. So I challenge you all to work on your communication skills and find ways to become a better conversationalist. You’ll be surprised at how much growth and how much stronger some of your relationships will become as well as how many new relationships will form.
Group Class Workout
2 rounds: 15 PVC overhead squat, 20 hollow rocks, 15 band pulls, 1 minute banded overhead distraction, 15 PVC pass throughs, 15 PVC good mornings
Finish with: snatch progression
Strength: 15 minutes
Welded: snatch practice (power and squat), 12×2 (no touch and go, drop and reset)
Welded Lean: No strength
8 Rounds (every 90 seconds)
4 power snatches (95#/65#)
6/4 calorie bike
12 air squats
Adv.: 5 power snatches (95#/65#)
8/6 calorie bike
15 air squats
3,000 meter row
75 AbMat sit ups
3,000 meter row
75 AbMat sit ups
Mobility of the Day: Glute Smash (pg. 300)
Improves: Lower back and hip pain, “knee out” position